synesthesia logue

Ever since I started the synesthesia research and cataloging of my synesthetic experiences, I’ve begun paying closer attention to it all. What I’ve noticed is that, strangely, some things are not as I thought – and some things were present but I hadn’t even realized it.

A Quick Note on Changing Colors
Previously, I noted that my F was a light-ish blue and my K was yellow. Upon closer examination (namely, paying better attention to things), I’ve realized that my F is actually purple and my K is magenta/pink. I’m not sure why I had seen them otherwise previously, but I know that the purple and magenta are correct, and they have been my whole life. Strange.

Sensations As Colored Shapes
The other day I was talking with my friend about the band Nightwish. I was trying to explain to him why, for some reason, I don’t like the band’s music very much. On the surface, it seems like the music would be right up my alley. Orchestral, epic metal music with harmonic, operatic vocals. but for some reason it just gives me the heeby-jeebies. I’ve pretty much narrowed it down to the conclusion that its color/shape is just… wrong. The funny thing is that I reached this conclusion by noting the color/shape of a sensation I got from eating a certain food.

You know that spinach & artichoke dip with cream cheese and pine nuts and stuff in it? It’s tasty. But at the same time, it feels bad. This probably won’t make sense to nonsynesthetes, but basically when I eat that dip, it feels/tastes like a large white teardrop. This white teardrop is, for me, the epitome of uneasy. Anything at all that gives me the feeling of unease will undoubtedly resemble this white teardrop.

Nightwish? The music is usually a large white teardrop, only sitting on its side instead of upright like usual. It is outlined in a haze of pink, especially near the point. Pink is, for me, the epitome of pleasure. Anything that gives me a pleasurable sensation radiates in pink. So perhaps now you’re getting the picture. The epitome of unease tipped on its side, wrapped in a halo of pleasure. It’s just… uncomfortable. I NO LIKE!

What’s interesting is that even though I have been aware of synesthesia for a few years now, and have been actively cataloging my experiences, I still was not totally conscious of this part of it until yesterday. I’m going to start paying attention closer to the rest of my shapes!

In my spatial-sequence synesthesia, I see months of the year, days of the week, and hours of the day in circular sequences that occupy space.

Months of the Year
My year is a large circle around my head. The months run counter-clockwise, with January at the “top” slightly to the left of center. The months follow around the circle, until June and July are basically inside my head, then continuing around to the right until December meets January. Whenever I think of a month, I see it in its spot and its color. My calendar does not rotate. It is always the same no matter what month it currently is. If I think of a month, I can sort of move myself into it, but retain the dominance of the static calendar. I don’t know if this is making sense to anyone but me…

The idea of this circular spatial sequence is that the months are constantly flowing one into the other, in a constant, repetitive pattern. There is no break in the pattern, which is why my circle is so appropriate. Below I’ve drawn a couple of diagrams of my year, complete with each month’s color. The first one is as if you were standing behind me. The second is as if you were looking down at it from above my head.

Days of the Week
My week is similar to my hear in that it is circular and runs counter-clockwise. It is much smaller than my year, and sits in a space in front of me and slightly to the left. Sunday and Saturday and in the “back” of the circle, and the rest of the days are in the “front”. It also has less dimension/depth than the year does. Each day has a color as well. Just like my year, I can move myself into each day, but the week never changes its spatial sequence. Below I’ve drawn a diagram of the way I see my week, with each day in its color.

This is a very rough sketch of how I view the days of the week via my spatial-sequence synesthesia. It’s a circle, where Saturday and Sunday are farther away and Wednesday is closest to me. It’s really hard to depict this properly. The days are also colored based on how they are colored to me (via my grapheme-color synesthesia). This is not necessarily how the actual words look to me, just the DAYS.

Hours of the Day
The hours in my day are slightly different from my year and week. My day is like an elongated oval, and sits vertically, as opposed to horizontally (like my year and week) in space. It is like a big oval that I could draw on the wall in front of me, and is about the same height as my body, but higher than me (it doesn’t start at my feet, but maybe my waist). It is also different in that it runs clockwise, but it is not exactly like a clock.

Midnight is at the top. 6:00 am is at the bottom. Noon is halfway through the left side. The chunks of time also have colors associated with them, but it’s mainly just the color of the sky during that time of day, so I don’t know that it counts in a synesthetic way.

Below is a diagram of my day (click it to make it bigger).

This morning I went in for my fMRI at Baylor. I met with my researcher and we talked about our synesthesia experiences (she’s a synesthete, too!). Then I went into the MRI lab. They made me put on these makeshift glasses since I can’t wear mine in there. They were big, pink, and plastic, with an elastic band that went around my head to hold them on. I felt so silly wearing them. I put on these huge earphones and laid down on the table thing and they slid me into the tube. There was a mirror above my face that pointed out behind the back end of the tube so I could see a screen where they were projecting different images.

First the screen was colored in boxes of different colors. Then it would be blank, then it was covered in boxes of varying shades of grey/black/white. It did this about five time, so they could see how my brain works when viewing colors vs. no colors. Then they showed three different series of graphemes.

Some that I view in “colors”, some that I view in black or white (which I still consider “colors”), and some characters in another language (I’m not sure which, didn’t look like anything I’ve seen before). It did these all several times. Then the last 15 minutes I was supposed to be viewing a video of Sesame Street, but it wasn’t working for some reason so I just saw a black screen and was having to try very hard not to fall asleep, haha.

After the fMRI, we went back to their research lab/office and I got to speak with Dr. Eagleman who is heading up the research. We talked about their research on grapheme->color synesthesia, as well as their research on tracking synesthesia genetically. We laid out my family tree and they asked me to contact as many family members as I can, to see if they want to participate in the genetic study (all they have to do is donate a sample of DNA – some saliva). They also told me that they’re creating some more research studies for synesthetes. They couldn’t tell me everything but they told me it will be a series of computer games — and they want me to pilot the research! Woohoo! I’m so excited to be a part of something like this. In addition, Dr. Eagleman has a book coming out in March and he said he would give me a copy. High five!

P.S. Yes, those are images of my brain. They gave me a whole disc of images from the MRI!