I Have Given Up
I have always been one who likes to finish what I start. I have also been known to think I can handle more than I really can, and take on too many responsibilities. I wish to persevere where others think that I will surely fail. I prefer to succeed in the face of adversity. I do not like to see my hard work go down in vain.
For the past six months, I have pretty much had the worst time of my life. I have been to hell and back. I have been an emotional and psychological basket case. I have gone from wanting to kill myself, to fearing that I was about to die, to gathering enough determination and will power to turn my health around. I have lost fifty pounds. My blood pressure is down and my heart is so much healthier now; irregular heartbeat barely making an appearance anymore. I have beaten Candida and gluten intolerance and have learned how to care for my body. I have left my husband of six years so that I could become healthy and sane again. I have worked as hard as I can at my job. I went to night school and managed to keep my grade point average at a lovely 4.0.
I also took on leadership of a high-end raiding guild in World of Warcraft. To a reader who has no idea what it is like to play a Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game, well, I can’t explain it to you. All I can say is that running a guild like ours takes a LOT of time, dedication, and hard work. Our guild has been like a family to me for a year now. When our two leaders had to call it quits, our guild was on the verge of dying off. Luckily there were a few of us who refused to let that happen. I, along with two other leaders, and four other officers, helped to keep our guild alive. We persevered. We stayed alive. We have made a tremendous amount of growth and progress, when everybody was just waiting to watch us die. We are so close to “beating the game” and yet somehow we seem cursed. Stuck in a rut and we can’t seem to get out.
Continue reading
