twitchcraft galore

I found and took the Synesthesia Battery of tests at synesthete.org this week and was so excited about the visulization software that they had for spatial-sequence that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. All week I’ve been researching more about all forms of synesthesia (which is how I found all those awesome articles that I linked in my first post).

Toward the beginning of my Googling, I came across a page talking about synesthesia and asking for synesthetes in the Houston area to be volunteers for their research. However, the page had no dates on it, and there was no link to that page from anywhere else on the site. I decided to give it a shot anyway and email the doctor (Dr. Eagleman at Baylor) to find out. To my surprise me emailed me back within the hour and put me in contact with one of his graduate students!

I’ve been corresponding with her all week, and she asked me to participate in their research. The experiment they are running right now involves doing an fMRI of the brain while the synesthete performs certain tasks (I don’t know all the details yet) to see which areas of the brain are working for different things. I’m scheduled to do this next Thursday morning. Woohoo!

She also asked me if anyone in my family had grapheme-color synesthesia since they are doing research to trace this genetically. Coincidentally, I was planning to visit my parents that afternoon and talk to them about it. Strangely, up until this point nobody in my family even knew about my synesthesia. I spoke to my family about it. My mom was trying to understand the concepts but was having trouble, so I was certain she didn’t have it. She asked me to explain the grapheme-color variant one more time, so I did. Thus our conversation follows.

Kelley: For example, ask someone “What color is 5?” and they–
Mom: — GREEN! — gasp! — *covers her mouth in surprise*
Kelley: Mom! Oh my god! You have synesthesia!
Mom: *still slightly in shock* … But… I didn’t understand what you meant until now. I never even thought about it, actually, until now.
Kelley: *elated* So your five is green? Mine is blue!!
Mom: But I can only go up to five… And only ABC… But E is yellow. And 1 is always yellow….
Kelley: *bouncing like a loon*

I’m still excited about it, and every time I remember her blurting out “GREEN!” and then covering her mouth in surprise… I just can’t help but giggle! I have never met anyone IN PERSON with synesthesia. It’s one thing to talk about it online, but I didn’t realize how different (and validating) it would be to actually speak to someone who shares something so special with you.

In any case, I can’t wait for the fMRI next week. I’ll post about it here! It would be so awesome if they let me have a couple of the pictures. (Oh yeah and they said they will pay me for my time, too! Wow.)

It’s a list of things (and people) in which I find enjoyment.

cadence
alliteration
clean skin
music that makes my heart sing
vitamin water (XXX – acai, blueberry, pomegranate)
words
curiosities
carrot chapstick
cold weather
colour
Ley
cookies
sleep

Oh yeah. Yesterday was my birthday (well, the 24th). My feet are mourning. At least I always have options.

dé·jà vu (dā’zhä vōō’)
noun.

• 1. Psychology The illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time.
• 2. a. An impression of having seen or experienced something before: Old-timers watched the stock-market crash with a distinct sense of déjà vu.
  b. Dull familiarity; monotony: the déjà vu of the tabloid headlines.

It’s been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Over the years it has become more and more frequent. About a year ago it was tickling my curiosity so much that I decided to research it. I read a lot of articles and papers about it. I read about a lot of studies that had been done on it. Some people think it’s a trick of the eyes. Some people think it’s a trick of the brain. Some people think it’s more of a spiritual experience. Since nobody knows what exactly it is, how it happens, or why it happens, I’ve kind of adopted my own thoughts on the subject. I heard this explanation a while back, and it’s stuck with me ever since. I like it, especially since over the past couple of years I have grown a profound fascination with, and respect for, the idea of reincarnation.

Before your soul is reborn on Earth, you are given a quick run-down, a preview, of the way your life should proceed. Almost like your life “flashing before your eyes” before your birth, as opposed to right before your death. A déjà vu moment is like a little flashback to that preview. A quick little glimpse of your soul recalling the way your life was supposed to go. So in a sense, a déjà vu moment is like your soul letting you know that you’re on the right track. Your life is going the way it should.

There’s no telling how accurate this assessment is, but it is the one with which I seem to resonate the most. Maybe it’s just that validation from a higher power that I’m searching for. No matter, though, the reason. I like this explanation and so I hold it with me every time I have a déjà vu.

Now, with all this being said, the reason I bring it up is because I have been having a LOT of déjà vu lately. The moments are getting more frequent, more intense, and are lasting longer. I have them several times a week now.The most recent one was so intense that I had to tell someone about it. I told Ley and she agreed with me that it was very weird!

I was parking my car when it started. I had just pulled into my parking space and was turning off the ignition when the sound of the music slurring to a stop jogged the déjà vu into action. By this time I had gotten to used to the frequent déjà vu that I was kind of brushing it off. “Yeah yeah, déjà vu, and then when I open the door it’s gonna slip a little bit out of my grip” … and it did. “Yeah yeah, déjà vu, then I’m gonna open my back door and reach for the bags and one of them is gonna slide out of reach” … and it did. This continued, me predicting what was going to come to next, until I gathered all of my things, dodged the wasp at my front door, unlocked it, and set my things down inside. I mean, how odd is that? It’s not as if it were even a very predictable moment. I had gone to pick up all of my new things for culinary school, so all of the bags in the bag were a new thing. I never even carry things in my back seat, but since i had recently cleaned it out, I used the seat. There is rarely a wasp anywhere near my apartment, so it’s not as if that was even a regular experience.

Very odd. Very odd indeed.
But, if this means I am so on the right track that I am beginning to predict what comes next… Well, I think I’m okay with that.